A Mother’s Love

When I found out I was pregnant with Harlan I was overcome with joy and terrified at the same time. Joy with the fact that I was bringing a child into the world and terrified that I would be able to be a good mother to her and take care of her and protect her the way she needed.

Protect.

When you become a mom your number one job in life is to look out for your child. Keep them out of harms way. Love them and take care of them. Never should you let your own child feel unsafe in their own home.

A mothers job is to love.

Love unconditionally. Love whole heartedly. Love with every breath you have and every move you make. Love them when they bug you. Love them when they are mad at you.

Just love.

I recently found out that a boy at the school I taught at in Tampa and his sister were fatally shot and murdered by their own mother. She was sick and tired of them being “mouthy” so she killed them.

Never have I had a situation like this be so close to me. I did not teach Beau but I remember seeing him around the halls at school and at the occasional soccer game. My colleagues say that he was sweet and kind hearted and a great friend to everyone.

Never did I know when I became a teacher how attached I would become to the kids in my classroom and around school. You spend so much time with them, that you learn to care for them like they are one of your own. You would comfort them when they were upset, listen to them when they needed, and give them advice if they asked. I used to joke that I didn’t have just one child, I had 120 children. And that is truly how I felt and still feel to this day. They were and forever will be a part of my life.

Although I was not in the classroom with Beau everyday, I am still taking his loss very hard. I am hurting for him, his family, and his friends and teachers {who are like family to me} at Liberty. As I try to wrap my head around this horrific story I do the only thing that will help me other than write {and cry}. I pray.

I pray for the father who has come home from serving his country to bury his own children. I pray for Beau and Calyx who were the victims of this awful tragedy. I pray for my family at Liberty Middle School, a group of the most amazing men and women who now have to help teach their students how to cope with loss. I pray for our students who have to deal with the loss of a friend at such a young age. And lastly, I pray for the mother. As much as I hate her for doing this I pray that she finds the help that she needs. One of my former students said it best “pray that she will heal and God will forgive her.”

{Quote was from one of my former students, Danielle}