Words that I’d never thought I’d hear came out of Harlan’s mouth this morning. “I don’t want a baby sister,” she yelled as we were getting ready for my 22 week doctor appointment.
I’ve been very honest with Harlan throughout this entire pregnancy. She’s been with me to every appointment, every ultrasound, and we talk about it almost everyday. I never intended to be this open and honest about everything, but she’s seemed to be very well receptive to it {as much as a two year old can be} and we’ve just gone from there.
I’m not sure if she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or if she is really starting to get nervous about the upcoming arrival to our family. As we made our way to the doctor’s office this morning, she must have told me 15 times that she didn’t want a baby sister. She even mentioned that she was mad at her. When I asked her why she told me that it was because she wanted to stay home and didn’t want to see her on TV.
When I heard that you could probably hear my heart breaking.
Shattered.
She has looked forward to these appointments since seeing her sister for the first time on the ultrasound screen. She asks all the time when she can see her sister again on the TV.
Has my openness started to backfire on me? Does she really not want a baby sister?
When we got to the doctors office her tantrums only got worse and before we knew it everyone in the office knew she didn’t want a baby sister. The nurses asked if she was just having a rough day because they knew she is usually always excited to be there.
When we went into the exam room Harlan refused to get in front of the “TV” to see her baby sister. She was much more content eating grapes in the chair. I asked her several times if she wanted to come over and each time the answer was no and that she wanted to stay in her chair.
I think the doctor noticed the fear on my face when she refused to look at the TV and she assured me that this was normal and she was probably just having an off day.
I am praying that is the case and that she really doesn’t mean what she says.
Has your child reacted negatively to the news of a new sibling?
13 comments
Cam
I agree with the doctor. I think she’s just have an off day. She’s going to be a great big sister.
Cam recently posted..Ten Things…
Lauren
Thank you Cam! I think she will be too! 😉
Danielle
I blame the time change! My girls have been off for the last 3 days. I am sure it is just an off day. She is going to have an instant best friend in 18 weeks!
Lauren
You know, I haven’t thought about that. Her sleep schedule has been off too since the time change. Thanks for the reassurance. I might be coming to you for advice when this second little girl arrives! 😉
Nadine
I have to agree with both the doctor and The previous comment regarding the time change.. Children just have “one of those days” just like us and I have to admit my 10 month old has been off himself since the time change.. She’ll be okay and be the best big sister ever!
Vi Nguyen
Twitter: vi3ti3abe
Oh, trust me. You haven’t seen the full effect of a new sibling just yet. Wait til the baby get here and you’re faced with a very jealous older sibling who, in my case, repeatedly asked everyone “Do you still love me?” or said things like “Everyone loves the baby more than me.” in a very dejected and sad way that breaks your heart (not mean or tantrum-like). And since my girls are 6 years apart, I really had to adjust to having two kids and taking care of a baby again so of course I was all over the baby and the big kid felt left out. 🙁
Hmm…now you’re making me think I should blog about that haha. IDEA! 😀
Anyways, tt took awhile, and its not like she didn’t love her little sister bc I still remember the awe and loving look she gave her the first time she saw her and times thereafter when she’d happily play with her, kiss her, and look out for her; but she’s finally at a point where she truly appreciates her little sister and loves her to pieces. You should see the way those two play together, especially now that the baby is older and honestly, I think she loves her big sister most of all because her face LIGHTS UP as soon as she walks into a room. I could go on and on, but the point is, it’ll definitely be an adjustment and each case is different, but there will definitely be some good days and some bad days.
Never fear though because a bond between sisters is one of the best things there is, as long as you know how to nurture it right, because I have only one sister too and we’re really close so I try to instill in my daughters. But either way, they’re stuck w/each other for life! haha ^_^
Vi Nguyen recently posted..An Introvert’s Perspective of Big City Moms – The Biggest Baby Shower Event
Melissa at Tall Blonde
Hang in there, I’m sure she will continue to be thrilled to be a big sister. I don’t know from personal experience, but she appears to just be having an all around 2 year old type of day 🙂
Melissa at Tall Blonde recently posted..It’s Tuesday…
Ashleigh at Living Off Love and Coffee
Twitter: artsavesyou
Aw that really did have to hurt to hear. my son is only 6 months but his father and I are hoping to add two more children along the way. I would say that this must be completely normal. Who knows exactly why she is feeling this way but I am sure it will change. Once she realizes that she can help her sister learn how to do things as she grows I’m sure she will feel helpful and exicted!
Ashleigh at Living Off Love and Coffee recently posted..Superpoints Invite Codes!
Robin
My two-year old (son) recently welcomed his baby sister to the world with mixed results… He was never that excited to talk about the baby when I was pregnant, and definitely isn’t thrilled to share the spotlight. BUT, he randomly tells me that he loves her and will come up when I am holding her and want to snuggle with us both and it is so heartwarming that it seriously makes up for all the bad behavior. Besides, two-year olds are going to have their off days whether you have another one on the way or not, it just comes with the territory I think!
anna ~ random handprints
i know it can be a hard adjustment for the bigs, but i’m sure in no time she’ll love having a lil sister. one really good piece of advice i got was to have a pile of hidden “big sister” gifts, so you can give harlan one everytime someone brings a present to the new baby.
Serena @MamaGoesNatural
Twitter: MamaGoesNatural
In hindsight, I was also an over talker through my whole pregnancy and we had similar moments. Amazing though, it passed and now she is so in love with her little sister where she constantly hugs, kisses and wants to be with her – even so much sometimes! What really helped us to get through that hard time was to have a lot of one-on-one time, which I’m sure you do, where I focused on activities that she wanted to do. I still do this now and it has helped with the transition of having a new baby at home.
Serena @MamaGoesNatural recently posted..Dream Big at the Big Apple Circus
tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter: sellabitmum
Oh hugs..I am sure it was just an off day. She will love her baby sister. xoxo
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..The Messy Case of “Not Me” and “I Dunno”
Glamamom
Twitter: glamamom
She’s 2. I’m thinking it’s just a bad day and not a permament thing 😉