Three

Tonight as I was putting Harlan to bed, she was squealing with joy knowing that she was going to wake up a three year old. Her laughter was so genuine it was contagious. She’s been talking about her birthday for months. She would even go as far as telling her counselors at camp that it was her birthday on random days of the week. That is how excited she was.

As the months turned into weeks and the weeks turned into days, her excitement for her birthday grew stronger. She began to practice making a three with her fingers and would go around telling everyone that she could that her birthday was near.

This is the first year that she has been able to actually comprehend the meaning of her birthday. I think that it has helped watching me go through my pregnancy with Avery and seeing her shortly after she was born. She understands that just three short years ago she was in my belly and “came out of my belly” just as her sister did.

It was three years ago tonight that I sat watching Big Brother just three weeks shy of my due date. After getting out of the shower I remember mentioning to MacKay that I felt weird and that my bottom half just felt heavy. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because my doctor had engrained in my head at every appointment that he was sure I was going to have her late.

Boy was he wrong. That next morning I went into labor and a quick five hours later and only five pushes little Har came into this world.

It’s so amazing how moments as powerful as those I can remember down to the minute. From the time I woke up in labor to the second she was delivered. Every moment is like a snapshot in my mind.

When Harlan was born I had no idea the effect that she would have on my life. Everyone always said that being a mother is one of the greatest feelings in the world, but until you actually get to experience for yourself, that statement has very little meaning.

I want Harlan to know, for the rest of her life, just how much joy she brings me. Harlan helped shape me to be the person I am today. She gave me more of a purpose on this earth more than anyone ever has. She’s taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.

So, Harlan, on the eve of your third birthday I want you to know how special you are to me. You are my first born. My first daughter. The little girl who made me a mother. The one who gave me the best job in the world.

Your laughter is contagious.

The smile that you get when you see me from afar lights up the room.

Your dance moves are truly legendary.

You are no longer my baby, but a incredible little girl. Your fascination with princesses will surely come and go, but know that no matter how old you are, you are always going to be my little princess.

I hope that this birthday and birthdays to come that you squeal just the way you did tonight. And know that the sparkle you have will get you so far in life.

I love you, little one.

Happy Birthday.

Love, Mommy