My Quest to Find Myself Again

I currently weigh more than I ever have in my entire life (pregnancy pounds aside.) I look into the mirror and don’t even recognize myself. I thought that the pounds would just fall off after I had Avery, just as they had done with Harlan. I guess a couple years and less time in the gym can play a major role in the way that my body looks after having another child.

Although I don’t completely hate the way I look, I know that there is always something that I can do to feel better about it. I’ve been trying to get back in the gym, but with very little free time and the fact that the girls are with me all of the time, I have very little motivation to get there. Prior to having kids, the gym was my happy place. Now, it’s turned into a place that I long to get to.

A couple of months ago, I was introduced to the Core Performance system at the Hospital for Special Surgery. The Sports and Rehabilitation Center at HSS recently partnered with the Athletes’ Performance to bring this system to NYC. This system is completely customized to your wants and needs. As someone who really needs to be held accountable and wants to know exactly how to get my post-baby body as close to my pre-baby body, I knew that this would be perfect for me. And best of all, the training sessions are all only one hour long, which is perfect for a busy mom like myself.

My first meeting consisted of an evaluation of my current fitness level and what my goals were. My overall goal is to lose weight. I have these last 15 pounds that just want to stick with me. I’ve always been cautious about how much I work out and trying not to count my calories because I am nursing and want to keep up my milk supply. I voiced my concerns with Jamie, a Core Performance trainer, and we ran through a bunch of easy fitness tests to see how my body functions during a workout. After my evaluation, Jamie sent me a very thorough Personal Fitness Report of what we need to work on and how we will get to my goals.

He was able to discover things about my body and the way that it moves, that I never even knew. My hips move out of alignment when I step down causing my knees to move inward. Due to carrying the girls on my hip all the time, my back has become very tight and my left hip and right shoulder have dropped. These are all things that I would have never known prior to this evaluation.

My next appointment was with Jason, the nutritionist. Having a personal nutritionist is part of the Core Performance program and something that I completely wanted to take advantage of. I admit that I don’t necessarily eat the best food. If I have a craving for something, I get fixated on that craving and will do anything to get it. Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for my body) NYC has delivery for just about anything so I always find a way to satisfy that craving.

My biggest disappointment is that I’ve never in my life had to worry about what I ate, because I never saw the consequences on my body. Now, I am and it’s tearing me apart. I don’t want to diet because I don’t want to lose my milk supply. I voiced all of these concerns with Jason who was extremely helpful and a great listener. He took notes on my typical food input each day, took measurements of my body, and asked what my goals were and how we can work together to get there.

Ultimately we decided to focus on something else other than the cravings that I get. I mentioned that I have always done really well with counting calories, but because I am nursing I never know how many calories I should be eating. He assured me that he would take all of my calculations (weight, BMI, nursing throughout the day, exercise) and come up with a caloric number for me to follow so that I can lose weight, but still maintain my supply. A couple days after our meeting, Jason emailed me my Personal Nutrition Evaluation Report.

I was pleased to know that although I may not be happy about the way I look, my body is completely healthy and even above average when it comes to body fat percentage. He also went through an extremely long calculation which included my RMR, how many calories my body burns to maintain daily life function. My EER, which is the approximate number of calories my body burns in a day to maintain my current weight (nursing moms, he added 400 calories for breastfeeding to that number.) Once my EER was determined, he decided to cut that number by 20% to get the number of calories I need to intake to lose weight without disturbing my milk supply.

Now that I have my “magic number” it’s been easier for me to eat during the day because I have a goal and am more conscious about what I am eating to meet that goal. I am a number girl and counting calories is something that has worked really well for me in the past, so this is how Jason and I decided to help me get to my goal weight. He also gave me a personalized meal plan based on the number of calories that I am allowed to have throughout the day.

This is just the beginning of my journey with Jamie, Jason, and the Core Performance Team at the Hospital for Special Surgery. I will keep you updated, as I continue on this path. I’m not going tell you my exact weight (a girl never gives up those numbers) but I will tell you that I would love to lose 10-15 pounds. I am confident that Core Performance will help me achieve that.

The body that I loved prior to two children may never come back, but I know there is a body that I love hiding somewhere in there. With a little work and dedication, I’ll be able to find that love again.

I have my first official workout with Jamie next week. I’ll fill you in to let you know how it goes and how much weight I’ve lost. To learn more about the Core Performance System and the Hospital for Special Surgery, please visit their website.

{Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post. The Hospital for Special Surgery is providing me with complimentary Core Performance System trial. All thoughts and opinions are my own.}