Tonight I tucked Harlan in bed for the last time as a four year old. As I was kissing her to sleep she whispered in my ear, “Mommy tomorrow I will wake up and I won’t be your baby anymore.” I want to roll up in a ball and immediately start crying, but I just kissed her on the head and said, “Happy Almost Birthday Baby Girl.”
She’s right. She’s not my baby anymore. She really hasn’t been my baby for a long time. Harlan is such a big kid in so many ways. She’s responsible, always looking out for others, and is so great to have a conversation with. Those “baby days” with her seem so distant.
Tonight over dinner we were talking about what I was doing five years ago tonight. That this was the night before I became a mother. As we looked over photos of her newborn days, a huge rush of emotions came over me. How is it possible that time can pass so quickly and all of those long days of crying, changing diapers, and not sleeping, now seem like such a blur.
This year feels like much of the same. It was a big year for Harlan and one of many changes, but throughout it all, Har took it as a new learning experience and looked forward to everything that was on the horizon.
Late last summer, Harlan found out that she was going to become a big sister for the second time. She was so excited to welcome another baby into the family. As much of a support as I tried to be during my pregnancy, she supported me ten fold.
She had her first hair cut this year. Going to the salon and being pampered was like a dream for her.
I’ve watched an incredible bond form between these two. Harlan is such a little mommy to her Macks. She rushes in my room in the morning just so she can come and give him a hug and a kiss. If he’s upset, she will do whatever she can to make him happy again. With more responsibility of being big sister (x2) she has surpassed my expectations more than I ever thought. Avery and Macks are so lucky to have her as their big sister.
Moving out of the city and into the suburbs was such an easy transition for her. She didn’t even skip a beat. And now that kindergarten is officially underway, she’s even more excited for this new chapter.
A year of change, a year of happiness, a year of pure joy. Happy Birthday, Harlan. Five years ago you came into my life and brought me into this journey of motherhood. You may not look or act like a baby, but know that in my heart, you will always be my baby girl. I love you.
