“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller
Our evenings aroud here are always a bit hectic. From the moment I pick up Harlan from school we are going, going, going. The witching hour usually sets in around 4:30 and it’s that time that I start counting down the clock until bedtime.
A couple of weeks ago I tried to change up our routine a bit to see if it helped with the craziness after school. I pick up Har from school and we immediately go to the gym so that I can work out and the kids can play to get out all of that extra energy in the childcare area. By 5:00 we are out of there and headed home to get dinner, do homework, take baths, and get ready for bed.
When we moved out to the suburbs I knew that MacKay wouldn’t be home most evenings becuase of his commute. It was one of the sacrafices that we made in exchange for this better life for our family. While it’s hard not having him at home, it’s also a great challenge for me personally. It’s a great test at my ability to be patient with the kids and to work better under pressure.
I fail this test most nights. I usually get so frustrated that I end up rushing everyone to bed just so I can have that much needed alone time and a quiet house. The kids know I’m frustrated because they always end up coming back out and asking for a kiss or calling me back into their room for something. And that’s when the guilt immediately sets in.
But tonight was different. After the gym we made it home and began our routine. Dinner was ready for all three kids in record time, Macks went down without a fuss, and the girls made it through bath time without fighting over a bath toy. Bath time ran longer than I would have liked and it started creeping up on bedtime. But tonight I didn’t look at my watch to count down until I put them into bed, I just let it go with the flow.
The girls helped me pack their snacks and lunches for tomorrow. Harlan and I were able to do her homework togehter while Avery watched on and copied everything her big sister was doing, and all three of us sat down on the couch while the girls enjoyed dessert and I read them a book. There was absolutely no tension or frustration in the air. I felt so relaxed and care free. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t rushed to get them into bed for alone time. I was happy to be in that moment – right there with them.
Once we were finished with all of our to-dos, we went upstairs and said our goodnights. I was so happy to put them to bed, but not for the reasons that I usually was. Tonight I was happy to put them to bed because I felt complete. These kids that can test my patience nearly every night and sometimes make me want to go crazy, are so good to me. Tonight I felt their love for their mama. I know that it’s there for me every night, but I’m always too rushed to really feel it. Letting myself slow down and stop for a moment opened that up again. And it felt good. Really good. Maybe I should do it more often.
