The words slipped out of my mouth before I could even realize what I was saying. “You’re grounded for a week. No TV, no iPad, no playdates, nothing.”
I was so angry at them for smearing diaper rash cream over everything downstairs. The doors, the TV, clothes, the floor, it was everywhere. I’d gone upstairs while Macks was taking a nap so I could rest since I’d just gotten home from the doctor who told me I had a sinus and ear infection. I told the girls that they could watch television while I rested and that I’d be back down to check on them in a few.
I’ve done this a thousand times with them. The worst I’ve ever come down to is empty food packages everywhere because they’ve rummaged through the pantry. I’d never expect to see anything like this.
My first reaction was to take away everything from them. I’m sure I’d said this to them before, but I am also guilty of never sticking to my word and caving the second I needed a break or their whines got too much for me to bear. But seeing that cream all over and me spending nearly an hour scrubbing it from every surface had me angry. And I was sticking to my word this time.
They spent the rest of the night in their room with one another, only coming down for dinner. I could hear them talking to each other and reading books to one another, so sweet and calm. The complete opposite of what they were an hour before.
During dinner Harlan asked if she was allowed to “be off grounded” the next day. I told her no and she looked at me with this bewildered look on her face. It was so foreign for her for me to actually say something and mean it.
The next day I took Harlan from school and came home with Avery and Macks. Avery didn’t have school that day and it wasn’t until returning home that I realized how much I relied on electronics to help me get a break. If the kids were restless and I needed to get work done, I’d turn on the TV. If I wanted to rest for a little bit, I’d turn on the TV. Most mornings when we returned from taking Har to school, I’d get on my computer and get work done while Macks and Avery watched Sesame Street. The television was on a lot at our house, but it wasn’t until I turned it off that I realized just how much.
Even though it was hard, I stuck to my word and didn’t allow any electronics in our house for the week. And while at first all I got was tantrums out of the girls for me being mean, as the week went on and they had each other to rely on for entertainment, that’s when I saw just how beautiful this break was for all of us.
The lack of television actually made me get off of the electronics more. I put my computer away more often and realized that those work things that I was doing could wait until the girls were in bed.
Rather than watching television, we had dance parties, we had meaningful conversations that kept going and going, we went outside and enjoyed this amazing weather. We just enjoyed being together. We enjoyed us.
I was more present. We all were more present. Rather than leaning on the crutch that is electronics to get our minds lost in, we relied on one another. And in turn, we grew closer. The girls were getting along better than ever, I was the most patient I’ve been in a long time, and we were laughing together all the time.
Earlier that week when I uttered the word, grounded, I initially thought it was more of a punishment for me than it was for the girls. But as it turns out, the lack of electronics wasn’t depriving anyone of fun or entertainment. It just opened doors for news ways of having fun. And new ways of finding joy in each other. Finding the bliss that is family.
