Four

You may have noticed that I have been a little absent from writing lately. I was doing so well with my posts five days of the week and then slowly things started to decline.

In the beginning of June I suffered a personal loss. I had a miscarriage when I was 6 weeks pregnant. It was the day before my birthday and at the time I wasn’t ready to spread the news to the world. Not only was it physically painful, but more so emotionally painful and draining. I was very lucky to have family close and friends that helped me through it.

It was unexpected (obviously) and completely threw me for a loop. I was as 26 year old, healthy young woman. We had no problems with Harlan’s pregnancy {I actually got pregnant with Harlan on birth control.} We got pregnant as soon as we started trying, this was the last thing that I thought would happen.

Through the pain and emotional struggle, I was determined to try again. Four weeks after my MC I started to feel a little sick. I didn’t think anything of it and actually put off calling the doctor. My thought was that if I was pregnant, I’d rather not know right now just in case something were to happen.

After two weeks of throwing up almost every morning, I caved and made an appointment for my doctor. I couldn’t take the nausea any longer and needed to figure out what was going on. I still had not taken a home pregnancy test, but both MacKay and I knew in the back of our minds that I was pregnant.

Two days before our vacation to Hilton Head I anxiously waited in the doctors office waiting for some kind of news. The doctor came into the room confirming the news that I knew all along. I was pregnant. We did an ultrasound and saw the little one on the screen. I was just over 6 weeks along. I had gotten pregnant right after my MC. Blessed by God with another child.

With the constant fear of a MC looming over my head, I did not tell anyone that MacKay and I were expecting. Our family didn’t even know until I was through my first trimester.

Now at almost 15 weeks along I can finally announce that Harlan is going to be a big sister.

This pregnancy hasn’t been the easiest and has a haunting resemblance of my pregnancy with Harlan. I’ve been sick everyday since I was four weeks. The meds that helped with Harlan, aren’t helping with this one and I feel like I could get sick at any moment. Add the awful smelling streets of summer here in NYC and it is a recipe for morning sickness disaster.

I am still hoping that the morning sickness starts to subside, but for now, I am taking it day by day. Rest, bland food, and the toilet have been my best friend lately. 😉

But through all of this struggle, I am finding joy and excitement for our family. Because come early March, this family of three, will become a family of four.

P.S. I also wanted to share the video that was made by Clipik that we made to reveal the news to our families. The “surprise” is at the end of the video. It wouldn’t let me embed it in this post for some reason, so I’ve posted it on my FB page.