Today marks one year since I lost a child that I would never have the chance to meet. Although I wasn’t very far along, (only 6 or 7 weeks) that baby made a huge impact on my life. If this past year, of both heartache and happiness, has taught me anything, it would be to share.
Share your story.
Confide in friends.
Talk about it.
For the longest time I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was ashamed and embarrassed. I thought there was something wrong with me that made me lose the baby. I thought it was something that I did or didn’t do.
The shame kept me quiet. I didn’t want to talk about it because it just brought all of those feelings and emotions to the surface. But what I realized was that by not talking about it, I was doing more harm than good. Keeping everything inside only made me ignore the situation, as if it never happened. But it did happen and I did have to deal with the emotions and pain that comes with it.
It took me some time (and many tears shed) to realize that I needed to talk to someone.
Anyone.
After sharing my story, I found that I am not alone in this and there are (unfortunately) many women who have been in my shoes. Oddly, I was comforted with that. To know that I wasn’t an outcast.
I wasn’t the only one who felt the emotions I did. The sadness and anger that it had to happen. The connection I felt to this little being. The little person that I never even had a chance to see.
I may not have felt the first kicks or even seen an ultrasound, (I didn’t want to at the time) but it was still my child. And with that, I know that all of these emotions (even the ones a year later) are okay.
I’m chronicling my adventures on Babble.com! Check out some of my Babble posts at Baby’s First Year.
4 comments
Very Bloggy Beth
Love and hugs to you. My one-year-post-loss was in April. It’s such a difficult thing to go through, but you’re so right, talk it out. I had told people about my pregnancy, and even blogged it so I was in a way forced to tell everyone about the loss. I felt a little humiliated, but also realize I would otherwise have suffered in silence. It’s so important to know that you’re not alone and that you will get through it.
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Mildred
I’m glad to hear that from you. It’s really nice and advisable to talk it over to a friend or confidante about something which is bothering you. It lessen your burden from hiding it. Though I know it’s really hurting to lose a baby but that’s destined to be. Don’t punish yourself. It’s not your fault anyway.
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Felipe Bradyn
You should not be sad for this. Yes, there are many women’s in this world who have faced in this situation. Every people has problems. Anybody is not out of problems. So, you should be strong and win in life.
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Sarah at The Stroller Ballet
This is something so many women have gone through – bravo to you for sharing your story and encouraging people to talk about it! As one of my friend’s said, we handle this totally wrong in this country. We need to support each other and be open about these difficult things. Thank you for sharing!