Let me start off by saying that there is no perfect way to sleep train. Some people are completely against the idea and I totally understand their perspective. One thing that I’ve learned between all three of my children is that all babies are different. Harlan was a horrible sleeper from day one and continues to wake up in the middle of the night at nearly five years old. I won the lottery with Avery. She slept well from the beginning and continues to do so. She will take 3-4 hour naps everyday and will still go to bed with no problem. That little girl loves her sleep. Macks has and continues to be my biggest challenge. He’s never slept well and until a couple of nights ago, the longest stretch he’s ever done is five hours. I had him sleeping in our bed (which is something I said I’d never do) because the only way that I could get any sleep was with him laying next to me nursing nearly the entire night. It wasn’t ideal, but it was enough for me to be able to function the next day.
When I was pregnant with Harlan I read all of the sleep books. I tried all of the techniques and tactics to get her to sleep through the night, but none of them worked. It wasn’t until she was nine months old that she started doing it on her own. When Avery was born, I’d met the ladies of Dream Team Baby a few times through my work with Big City Moms. They had just released their book, The Dream Sleeper, and because Avery was on the cusp of sleeping through the night, I figured I’d read it and give it a try. It wasn’t just about telling me what to do to get her to sleep through the night, but taught me more about the science of sleep and what to listen and watch for when your baby is tired. Within two nights of trying their method, Avery was sleeping through the night.
I was optimistic with Macks that it would work the same way. Earlier this month I decided on a whim to give sleep training a try with Macks. Before bed, I fed him, put him in his crib, turned the sound machine on, and he cried for about five minutes before falling asleep. That night he woke up crying and not just crying screaming, so I went in and grabbed him and immediately put him in bed with me to nurse so that we could both go back to sleep. This continued for a couple of nights. I was convinced that he just wasn’t ready (and secretly I don’t think I was either.) It was then that I decided to wait a little bit before trying again. We continued with our normal routine of having him sleep in our bed while I nursed him beside me throughout the night.
Last week Macks wasn’t sleeping well at all in our bed. The usual of nursing him during the night turned into him kicking and squirming everywhere. I wasn’t getting any sleep and neither was MacKay. It was then that we decided to try sleep training again. I’d put him in his crib at 7 (after a good feed) and he’d cry for a couple of minutes before falling asleep. Then right before I went to bed (around 11pm) I went into his room and fed him while he was sleeping to try to push him over into the morning. I went into bed that night expecting to be woken up at 3am like he always does and I woke up at 5am realizing that I didn’t hear a peep from him in the middle of the night! It finally worked.
He’s not consistent with sleeping through the night, but we are making progress. For now, I am putting him to bed around 7pm, feeding him again right before I go to bed, and then wait and see what happens. If he wakes up in the middle of the night after I’ve done the dream feed, I’ll listen to see if his cries are more whine like (a sign that he’s just tired) or more scream like (a sign that he’s hungry and just wants comfort). If it’s the latter then I will go in and bring him in bed with him. If it’s that he’s just tired, I’ll let him cry for a little bit and he eventually falls back asleep.
We are only a week into this, so this is our first step to trying to get him to sleep through the night. This is what’s working for us right now. Next week it might be something completely different (and he might be back in the bed with us again.)
Like I said at the beginning of this post, there is no perfect way to sleep train. You just have to find what works for you. I found that using some methods from a book that I read and tweaking it to fit the needs of my child worked the best. Eventually I’m hoping to wean Macks off of the dream feeds and really have him sleeping through the night. But for right now I am enjoying those extra minutes of bonding time before I head off into dream land.
What sleeping tips worked best for you?
