I took them to the lake today. It’s the first day of summer and I promised them that we were going to have the very best summer ever. It’s the only time during the year that we can throw out the routine and go with the flow. And we take advantage of it. But that doesn’t mean that it comes without consequences.
I’m a full time working mom that works from home. I don’t have help with the kids and try to both run my business and take care of my children. It’s not an easy feat by any means, but I wanted to stay home with my children, and this is what I have to do to do it.
While we were at the lake this morning, I knew that I couldn’t ignore emails for the three hours that we were there, so every couple of minutes I picked up my cell phone to check my email. I’d answer anything that came in and checked on some other work related issues before focusing my attention back the kids. While I was multi-tasking (and doing a damn good job at it,) I couldn’t help but wonder what the other moms were thinking as I sat on my phone, not giving 100% to my children at any given moment.
I honestly don’t care care what they think. And it’s taken me six long years of motherhood for me to get to this point, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wonder what thoughts pass through their mind as they watch me. The judgement still gets under my skin.
Rather than having the thought in my head that I’d get a nod of “I get it,” from other moms while I’m multi-tasking, I’m worried that they will be shaking their head with the look of, “what the hell are you doing?” The village that is motherhood rarely offers support, but is much more quick to judge. And to do so solely based on their assumptions with very facts.
This era of parenthood is tough on everyone and we, as parents, aren’t making it any easier. In fact, all of our judgement is making us question every single thought and action that we take in parenting. It doesn’t matter how much confidence (or lack of) you have on how you’re parenting your children, there will still be those that question what you do.
So the next time you see the parent at the park on her cell phone, don’t judge. Because you don’t have enough of the story to do so. Let’s change the way that the history books will define this era of parenthood. Rather than being one of harsh judgement all the time, let it be one of support. Let it be an era that is known for us embracing one another. Let it be an era of trusting that a parent is doing what we think is best for our children. And perhaps the most important of all, let it be an era that we don’t condemn each other for the mistakes we make along the way, because there will be plenty of mistakes, but rather one that encourages us to learn from them so that we can do better next time.
Many of us are teaching our children to love others, yet we can’t take the time to love other parents that are on this same crazy journey as we are. Isn’t it time we do that?