My sister is getting married next month. This wedding has been a long time coming. She’s been with her fiancé for over 10 year (he graduated high school with me) and they’ve been engaged for over a year. Yes, we are all ready to see them walk down the aisle.
The excitement of the wedding is starting to hit our entire family. The girls’ flower dresses have come in and are hanging in our hallway for all to see. Macks’ little suit is waiting for him to walk down the aisle holding the rings. And my matron-of-honor dress is steamed and ready. The only thing left is for me to write my speech.
When my sister and Chips (that’s the nickname that Harlan made up for him when she was a baby) first started dating we were all in college. I was taking a speech class at the time and for our final project, we had to write a speech that would take place at a big event. I chose to write a maid-of-honor speech for Danielle and Chips. I practiced it in front of them plenty of times. They’d only been dating for a few months, so you would have thought that it would make Chris (his real name) run away quickly, but to my surprise it didn’t. They still talk about that speech. I planned on using it for their real wedding, but the only problem is that I can’t find it. It’s on the computer that I used in college and who knows where that is now (or if it’s even accessible.) So it’s back to square one.
I honestly didn’t think it would be as hard as it is. Why can’t the words just flow out like they usually do when I am writing a post? And then that’s when it hits me – how can I possibly put into words what my sister means to me? It’s nearly impossible because words can’t even come close to how I feel about her.
I look at Harlan and Avery everyday and wonder if the way that we interact is how my sister and I were when we were little. I watch and smile as they role-play with one another or if I catch them in conversation. Harlan has a nickname for Avery that no one else uses, she calls her “Ave Ave.” At night I’ll walk into their room well after I’ve gone to bed and see Harlan in Avery’s bed reading her a story. The other morning I walked downstairs after feeding Macks and Harlan had already fixed Avery cereal and they were both eating together at the table. Avery will always tell me what she wants and will then quickly follow by telling me what Harlan wants as well. Their bond is truly amazing to witness.
As I sit down and prepare to put my thoughts together to share just how much my sister means to me, I can’t help but realize how incredible our relationship has been. And I want my girls to know some of the magic that they will experience in their life as they go through this journey of sisterhood together. I know how special it is, because I’ve been there.
1. You will always be best friends. Yes, friends will come and go and there will be moments in life when you aren’t as close, but your sister will always be your best friend and confidant.
2. Look our for one another. It’s your job. 🙂 I can’t even begin to count how many times Danielle has been there for me. From crazy wild nights in college, to being the first person that would come over to help out with the kids when I was in labor, she is always there for me.
3. You will have your own language. Whether it’s secret code to try to hide things from your mom and dad, or just funny things that you say to one another that only she understands. There is a language that only you and your sister will have with one another. Something that is special and saved for just the two of you.
4. You will make one another laugh until your stomach hurts. And you might be the only ones that think it’s funny. Even writing this I am laughing at some of the things that Kim Danielle and I have done together. (Danielle will get that joke, don’t worry 😉 )
5. It’s even better when you live close to one another. Growing up, my sister and I always talked about what it would be like to “play house” and live next door to one another as grown-ups. Now, years later, we are living that dream and it’s just as fun (if not more) than we imagined. I can’t imagine not having her close by. If you ever have the chance to live close with your sister, do it. You will thank me.
6. You will miss her terribly when she’s gone. Right now the girls miss each other when they are at school, but that pain only gets bigger as you get older. I can’t even begin to describe the pain when I left for college and Danielle was still at home. Or the day that she packed up her car and drove to NYC leaving me behind in Florida. Talking on the phone is great, but there is nothing that can replace having her physically there right by your side.
7. No one will ever take her place. There will be boyfriends, school friends, husbands, kids, etc. but no one will ever be able to replace your sister. Life can bring you so many places and on that journey there will be people that come and go. You might think at the time that you’ve been replaced, but believe me, you are irreplaceable.
8. Sometimes you have to let her go. Although sisterhood proves to be an amazing bond, it doens’t mean that you two are just alike. There are some days when I feel like Danielle and I couldn’t be any more different. And sometimes those differences will take you to different places in life. As much as I’ve wanted to hold onto her for selfish reasons, I’ve had to let her go. It will be one of the hardest things, but just do it.
9. You will be her #1 fan. Watching my sister succeed in life feels like I’ve succeeded to. I want to scream from the roof how proud I am of her. She’s the first person I call if something wonderful happens in my life and she’s the first to tell me great job. I’ll be her cheerleader no matter what she wants to do with her life.
10. Watching her fall in love is hard. But only for selfish reasons. And when it hurts too hard, just go back and read #7.
11. But watching her happy is the best feeling in the world. Knowing that there is someone in this world that can make her heart full and can take care of her the way that she deserves is more than I could have ever asked for her.
Danni, I may not have your wedding speech prepared well before your wedding, but I do want you to know how much I love you. And if my girls have even half of the relationship that we share, I know that they will be truly blessed.
