Life

Weekend Recap: A Taste of Spring

I haven’t done a weekend recap in a while and this on was one worth noting. While last weekend we were buried in snow, this weekend we were out in dresses without tights (or jackets.) The weather was in the 60s this weekend, which shocked most of us living in the Northeast. February is usually one of the coldest months and while it’s been cold, it did give us a taste of what spring is going to be like and I cannot wait.

Yesterday while riding in the car with MacKay, we had our sunroof open and I looked at him with a smile and said, “Doesn’t this weather just make you want to smile?” He looked at me like I was a little crazy, but you don’t realize how much the gloomy winter can get you down. A little bit of sunshine, warmer weather, and blue skies instantly brightened my spirits.

We decided to take advantage of the weather and spent it in town at the library and the beach. Harlan has had her library card for a while and Macks and Avery have been asking for one as well. MacKay has taken the kids to the library a couple of times, but this is my first time going and I don’t know why I waited so long. The entire upstairs is dedicated to the kids and there is so much for them to do. We read books together and all three left with one to check-out.

After the library we headed to the beach for an early fish and chips dinner with some friends. It was so amazing to be able to spend the time outside enjoying the company of friends and watching the kids run around in the sand.

The kids had a smile on their faces the entire time. It was so good for everyone to be out and really soak in the beauty around us.

 

Isn’t it so incredible what one day of absolutely stunning weather can do for your outlook on the day? I’m constantly reminding myself that it’s the little things in life that I need to focus on, because sometimes it’s those that are easily overlooked that can make us the happiest.

 

 

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Life, Motherhood

Take All the Photos


I got a call the other day that my grandmother was in the hospital again. My first thought was, “this can’t be happening again.” It’s been less than a month since my grandfather passed and I am still aching from the realization that he’s gone. Thankfully my grandmother is well and the procedure she needs is fairly routine. She should be home by Wednesday.

Getting that call brought back a flood of memories from last month.  When I went to my grandparent’s house to say my final goodbyes to my grandfather, we spent most of the week reminiscing on the amazing years that we did have with my grandfather. He was such a happy, funny, and loving person, that we were in hysterics most of the time as we remembered all of the funny things that he did. My grandmother is the ultimate keeper of all things from the past. She has thousands and thousands of photos from her childhood, her teenage years, the early years of her marriage and beyond. She has photos of me from the day I was born up until now. She doesn’t throw anything away and I was so thankful that she doesn’t because it allowed my family to sit for hours and hours looking back and reminiscing on those memories. I thought about how lucky I was for her to not only take these photos, but to have them printed and saved for us to have forever.

As I sat down to write my speech for his funeral, I looked through my phone to find a photo from last summer, the last time we saw him. I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled and found nothing. I asked my brother if he took any while we were there and he couldn’t find anything either. My grandmother, who is usually always taking pictures didn’t have any on her phone either. I remember while I was visiting that summer that I wanted to get a photo with the kids and my grandparents. I kept putting it off and ended up never getting one. My biggest regret is not taking a photo with him. While I certainly didn’t know that was going to be the last time I saw him, I still wish that I had those memories to look back on.

I wish I wouldn’t have put it off.

I’m sure I was waiting for a more “perfect” moment. Or that my hair and makeup weren’t done completely right for the photo to be taken. But looking back, that didn’t matter. I just wish I had the photo of me hugging my grandaddy’s neck for what would’ve been the last time. When I think back to that summer I don’t remember what I wore or if I even had my makeup or hair done. But what I do remember was my kids running around and jumping on my grandaddy’s lap. I do remember me sitting next to him on the couch and talking with him. And that’s what I wished I would’ve captured.

This wasn’t the only time that I’ve put off taking photos, but perhaps this it’s the time that gave me this wakeup call. I know there are so many photos that I don’t take of myself with the kids or of the kids in general because they don’t portray perfect. I’ll watch my kids dancing and not take the photo because of the mess in the background. Or I’ll want to take a selfie of the kids giving me a giant kiss on the cheek and I won’t because I have a zit on my forehead. I hesitate to take so many photos.

The truth is, there is no perfect moment. There is no perfect time to take a photo. Just take it. Take it so you can capture that moment in time. You never know when you’ll want to look back and relive it. And trust me, one day you will.

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Motherhood

My Sidekick

There aren’t many times that he’s not by my side. He’s been like that since day one. Of course I thought it would always taper off, but so far that doesn’t seem to be the case. Last week when he was sick, he wouldn’t let me go more than a few inches away from him. The closeness of me next to him gave him comfort in his time of need. As I write this he’s sitting next to me and grabbing my face and kissing it. He’s affectionate and needy and incredibly challenging. But he’s my little boy. And today he is three.

I never thought that a baby’s personality could come through while they are still in the womb, but looking back at my pregnancy with Macks, he definitely gave us a preview on what was to come. He’s always been my most challenging child. Even three years in, I can never predict how my day will be with him. He’s my wild card. It’s him that I can thank for making things interesting.

At three, he’s still in diapers, still in his crib, still cries on most days when I drop him off at preschool, and still ends up in our bed at some point during the night. But that’s Macks. He’s in no hurry to grow up and embraces being the baby of the family. And perhaps that’s one of the things that I love about him the most. He does things his own way no matter what others say to him or about him. Just as my OB said three years ago that he’d come early just like the girls did, he proved her wrong. He’s been doing it from the very beginning.

While Macks likes to do things his way and in his own time, those include his hugs, kisses, and “I love you.” He loves to show his love and he doesn’t care who knows it. When Macks likes you, he’ll let you know. Just the other day as I was picking him up from school he told me that his teacher told him he couldn’t kiss his friends in class. I laughed at the statement. He’s never heard that you can be too affectionate.

Macks and I spend two mornings together while the girls are in school. Most of those days I try to take him on dates (which usually just include grabbing a muffin and milk for breakfast,) but all he cares about is being with me. He’ll go out of his way to sit on my lap while he’s eating the muffin, or make sure that he’s holding my hand while we’re ordering. He just wants to know that I’m there. He’s clingy. And I know that. But even when I just need a minute to myself, I remind myself that he won’t be like this forever. I’m so blatantly aware of how quickly these past three years have passed. And perhaps it’s because there hasn’t been another baby born after Macks was. But it’s not me to embrace each stage. And not just with him, with the girls too. Take the good with the bad, because 10 years from now I know I’ll look back and the bad won’t be so bad after all.

So for now my clingy and affectionate little boy is affectionately known as my sidekick. And I’ve been able to relish in his cuddles, kisses, and hugs for the past three years. And I cannot wait to do the same for many many more.

Happy Birthday Macks.

 

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