Life

In Her Kitchen

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My last two years of college I lived in my sorority house. It was and continues to be one of the best two years of my entire life. The friends that I made and lived with are still some of my most dear friends. When people say it’s a sisterhood, they truly mean it. These are women that I go to for comfort, support, guidance, and even just a laugh. I know it sounds super cheesy for those of you who have never experienced it (I’ve heard it a million times,) but these are women that are a part of the greatest memories I have from college and beyond. And after all, they did lead me to MacKay (his sister is a sorority sister.)

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While living in the house, I did my best to maintain a high level of studiosness (we were there to get an education after all,) while still having the time of my life. I managed both pretty well for being in my early twenties and completely self-absorbed.

Each morning, as I’d get ready for some of my early classes, I went into our dining room and kitchen area to grab some breakfast. And every morning, as I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. We called her Ms. Joyce. Ms. Joyce was a cook for our sorority house far before I ever got there. She was loved by all. Every morning she asked me what I’d like for breakfast. And when I could have easily just grabbed a bowl of cereal, she made sure that she made me eggs (any style that I wanted) or pancakes (with choclate chips) because she wanted me to eat well. For lunch or dinner when there was only meat items on the menu (I was a vegetarian,) she made me something special. In a sorority with over 100 girls, she made me feel like I was the only one. When I was hundreds of miles from my family, she made me feel like I was a part of hers. I’d look forward to waking up each morning just so I could walk in that kitchen and greet her before I started my day.

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This morning I woke up to a Facebook post from a sorority sister that showed the obituary for Ms. Joyce. She was only 66. Ms. Joyce retired a few years after we graduated, and I probably only saw her a few times in between. And not one of those times did I tell Ms. Joyce how special she was to me. Not once did I tell her how much she meant to me for not only cooking my food for four years, but for being such a positive force for me during a time in my life when I was so into myself and very little else. For me, college was about having fun, it was about going to football games on the weekends, it was about boys, about figuring out which bar we were going to. It wasn’t about telling people thank-you. And I deeply regret that.

Now, more than 10 years later, I do look back on those times with great fondess, but I also see how much I’ve grown as a person since then. How much it’s become so much less about me and more about those that help shape me. And I want you to know that Ms. Joyce was one of those people.

It’s too late to tell her that, but I want to tell you so that you can take a little bit of what Ms. Joyce left with me and every single person that stepped through her kitchen. She always left with a smile, with her genorousity, and her kindness. And she left us with the true meaning of selflessness.

Thank you Ms. Joyce. May you forever rest in peace. And may we all greet each other the way you did in your kitchen.

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Family, Life

Why I’m Happy Wednesday: 32

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It’s Wednesday! That means it’s time to spread some positivity and tell me why you’re happy. There’s so much going on in our lives that it’s nice to stop and reflect on something that’s happened that’s put a smile on our face.

We are just getting back into our groove from being in Florida last week. I traveled with all three kids to stay with my parents for the week (more on our trip tomorrow,) and while it’s a lot to travel alone with the three of them, it was surprisingly relaxing being there. We had the best time and cannot wait to go back for a longer visit over the summer.

As I mentioned last year, my parents lost our family dog unexpectedly. They’ve since gotten two new dogs to add to the family and they are quite the new additions! We met them for the first time last week and fell in love. The girls loved Dolly, the smallest of the three, while I got to know Daisy, the new weimeriner. And of course, Dixie, the oldest of the three that my parents have had for five years is still my favorite cuddle buddy.

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It was so fun for us to get to know them. I took some photos while I was there because of course when you have three dogs you have to start them an Instagram account (@dixiedaisyanddolly.) My sister runs the account, but if you love dogs, it’s a must follow. 😉

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The kids now insist on Facetiming with all of the dogs since we’ve been home. They love those pups.

That’s what makes me happy.

Now tell me something good. Something that’s made you happy. It can be big, it can be small, just something that has put a smile on your face. You can participate by sharing a photo on Wednesday with the hashtag #WhyImHappyWednesday and tagging me @amommyinthecity or feel free to write it in the comments below. I do read them all and am happy to reply back on your good news! You can also join in the conversation on my Facebook page!

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Motherhood

Showered with Guilt

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I was getting Macks ready for bed when I heard the big boom. It wasn’t two seconds later that the shrieks from both girls were heard. And then another few seconds for them to run out of the bathroom, naked and afraid.

The screams were bone-chilling. They always take a shower together in the evening while I get Macks ready for bed.  I always leave the door open so I can keep a close eye on them and still get other things done at the same time. We’ve never had any issues. Until this night.

I ran into the bathroom in fear of what I was going to see. I could have sworn that one of them was hurt. But rather than seeing blood or someone hurt, I watched as water rushed out of the wall where the shower head was and my bathroom becoming flooded with water.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” they kept saying between the tears.

They knew they messed up, and they knew I was angry.

I immediately turned the water off and began screaming. The anger inside of me took over. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of “What did you do? What were you thinking? I can’t believe you did this. You know better than that.” 

I went back into the bathroom where water was covering the floor and the shower head that used to be attached to the wall was now sitting in the tub. I started soaking up water with a towel while I tried to control my thoughts.  The girls still cried in their room and I heard them blaming each other for the sequence of events.

“Avery why did you do that?” Harlan yelled.

“I didn’t do it Harlan, you did,” Avery replied.

I’d get down to the bottom of who did it, but I was positive that both were in on in.

After the water was cleaned up, I went into their room to get the story. Harlan chimed in saying that they were playing slide, but didn’t give me the specifics. Avery said that Harlan was swinging on the shower head (we had one of those with two shower heads and one was handheld with a hose.) While neither would tell me the exact story, it looked like Harlan was playing Jane of the Jungle and decided that the hose was her vine. As soon as she put her weight on it, the thing detached from the wall spraying water everywhere.

While I’d typically be upset about this on every other occasion, this day was particularly worse. Not only was I leaving the next day with all three kids for our trip to Florida, but I’d just been asked to do a segment that next morning and had to run around town all evening getting the items to prepare for the segment. Having to replace a shower head and fix a flooded bathroom only added to my stress.

As I walked out of the girls’ room to finally put Macks to bed (he’d been standing in shock by the bathroom door,) I hear Harlan yell, “I know you won’t like us ever again.” Followed by, “I don’t want to go and live with another family.”  Not sure where those ideas came from, but the extremity of them made me laugh.

I put Macks to bed and went back into the bathroom to see if I could fix the shower head at all. I tried and as soon as the water turned on, water went everywhere else but through the shower head.

I texted MacKay to see where he was, because I was still so angry and so stressed. I brought the girls inside the bath to finish taking a fake shower (because despite being in the shower for 15 minutes, they failed to wash their hair or their body.) I washed them in silence, not sure of what to say.

When MacKay made it home, I’d finally cooled off. I went into the girls room to talk about what happened. I told them that while I was upset at them for doing something they knew they weren’t supposed to do, I never stopped loving them. I referred to Harlan’s comments on not liking them or moving to a different family and told her that those things would never happen. That there are going to be many things that happen in our lives that make me upset or that I do that make them upset, but that doesn’t change our love for one another. We talked over what happened, what their consequence was for their actions, and I kissed them to sleep.

As I headed out that evening to run my errands, which included buying a new shower head, I thought over the events from that evening. It had been a while since I’d been that upset over something that the girls’ did. I wasn’t proud of the way that I reacted, yet what still mad over the events that occurred. It saddened me that Harlan’s first thought was that I wouldn’t like her anymore or that she would go and live with another family (although it is laughable because it’s so far-fetched.)

I took this as a learning experience for all of us. There will be plenty of times in our lives when I’ll be upset at them for making a decision that they know isn’t in their best interest and they will be upset at me for a decision that I make that might not be exactly what they want. But as I told the girls that night. No matter how upset I am or how upset they are at me, we always have love. And love conquers all.

 

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